


Try

by dracosathenaeum



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:07:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28783929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracosathenaeum/pseuds/dracosathenaeum
Summary: Arranged marriages don’t always work.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Try

You don’t love him. 

He doesn’t even try to.

You had known who Draco would be to you by the time you were old enough to form thoughts. It wasn’t something your parents had ever tried to hide, nor was it something the either of you particularly held opinions for. It was your duty as a pureblood witch; that much had been drilled into you the second you had come out of your mother’s womb, knowing Draco would’ve been through the same had been little solace. 

You had spent the years up until your 18th birthday getting along with each other for your family’s sake, a civil understanding between the two of you, but neither of you fully acknowledging what the other meant to them. You had tried. Once. He had looked at you with murder in his eyes and you had never tried again.

The summer before 7th year however, you had shared a bed every night. Protection charms were cast so that you remained pure of course, but they weren’t ever even really needed; you had both been in the same bed, but the distance between you had never been greater. You would both climb into bed, you facing one way, him reading a book until his eyes got heavy and turned to face the opposite way of you. You both pretended as though the other did not exist, something that would become a habit in the years to come. 

//

He was always gone. The first 6 years of Hogwarts you had seen him constantly; you shared the same group of friends after all. They all knew of the betrothal too, no one daring to bring it up infront of the two of you, but you knew they gossiped behind your back. These ‘friends’ of yours were simply pureblooded heirs who would do anything to tear you away from Draco so they could dig their claws into his family fortune. And they were welcome to, you never once stopped their advances on him; no that was his own doing. 

For years you had thought that had meant he had respect for your arrangement, for you, but in 7th year you had started finding him with random girls in hallways, skirts bunched up at their waists as he mouthed at their necks. Both too indulged in pleasure to even notice you standing just a mere few metres away. It didn’t matter that they didn’t see you, your face didn’t betray your emotions, you were above that after all. 

It hurt at first; not the jealousy kind of hurt; more of the my-arranged-fiancé-who-I-have-no-feelings-for-is-shagging-other-girls kind of hurt. 

You didn’t love him, and he sure as hell didn’t love you. Perhaps you were just too naive to think a snake could have an ounce of loyalty in them. That would be the last time you would put faith in him; something you had found rather useful in preventing further unnecessary feelings. 

You had spent the next day’s inside of your own head; debating on whether this would be your ticket out of the marriage, or simply be a thorn in your back. You had found him with 6 other girls over the course of a week, all being fucked into oblivion that they hadn’t even noticed you. 

Draco had though. 

He had seen you the last 3 times, perhaps he had seen you all along, only acknowledging your presence the last few occasions. 

Eyes holding their gaze on you as he continued to rock his hips into the girl against him, a smirk on his face. He had _wanted_ you to find him. He had _wanted_ to hurt you. Your expression did not falter once, you held onto his gaze, waited until he was bored of trying to break you and broke eye contact himself. 

You had wanted to retaliate; you even went as far as crawling into Theo’s bed after a Slytherin party that had ended with everyone being too drunk to think. But even when you were 7 shots of firewhiskey in, you couldn’t bring yourself to give yourself to someone you didn’t love. Thinking back on it now, you wondered if you even would’ve been able to, given the protective blood charm your father had placed on you to protect your **_worth_**. 

You had been in hysterics, not over Draco, but upon the realisation of how powerless you were that you couldn’t even hurt someone back that didn’t so much as care about you. You were trapped, this would be how you would feel for the rest of your life and you couldn’t as much as rebel even when only betrothed. You knew that once you were officially married there would be no way out, but you still couldn’t do it. You couldn’t betray your bloodline, and its traditions that had been grounded into you from the moment you were born. 

You were pathetic. Harry Potter defeated Voldemort as a _baby,_ yet you at 18 couldn’t do so much as make your own life choices.

Theo Notts did what anyone else would’ve done and dragged your fiancé in to quell your sobs. In hindsight, dragging in Draco whilst his fiance was naked and sobbing in another guy’s bed probably wasn’t his greatest idea as Draco had punched him clean across the face, his pale skin turning an angry red. 

A turning point was what you let yourself believe as he held you for the first time. You had spent more time alone that night then than you had ever done (awake anyways). For the first time in 17/18 years he had willingly stayed in your company for more than 2 seconds. He had let you sob into his neck until they turned into quiet hiccups and eventually soft snores. He had fallen asleep with you and woken you up with a cup of tea, a tense but somewhat comfortable silence between the two of you. 

Naive. Stupid. Ignorant.

One moment of weakness could never have changed _years_ ’ worth of indifference, perhaps even hatred. 

Nothing had changed. And why would it? 

Sure he no longer pretended as though you didn’t exist (although the both of you pretended that night hadn’t) but he was still finding a different witch to fuck each night. You never saw them again, but you knew. Everyone did. 

  


That had been 3 years ago.

Nothing had changed in that time.

Well; other than the wedding band on your left hand.

He would still see other women; you just hadn’t caught him. He would never bring them home and risk the wrath of his parents after all. He wouldn’t dare risk anything that could harm his reputation.

No, you just smelt their sickly-sweet perfume on him after he crawled back into your shared bed at ungodly hours. 

You would dispose of their hairs left on his clothes before the house elves found out and reported it to his parents. You would make excuses as for why he was late to important gatherings and doctors’ appointments. You kept up the image of happy wife so that they wouldn’t know of your misery and label you both as a failure to the bloodlines you held the futures of. 

You would always wake just as he climbed back into bed, he had as much consideration for his wife as he had for house elves. 

It was the same every night. You would pretend to be asleep, wait for his tell-tale change in breathes before you turned to hover over him, knife in hand, unsure of who to kill; yourself, your _precious_ husband or the both of you.

But every night you would place the knife back in your nightstand, turn over, and fall asleep again; and let the day repeat itself. 

You had tried to love him. But Draco Malfoy was impossible to love. 

That was how it had been for the first 3 years of marriage. 

It had changed just a few weeks ago. 

Now, he would still come back, just not as late as before, but still covered in perfume that would make you instantly nauseous. You would still feign sleep but this time, he would press a hand to your stomach before turning over and falling asleep. You still had the knife in your bedside drawer, you just hadn’t reached for it again. 

Draco Malfoy was still impossible to love, but the child inside of you wasn’t. 

[After thoughts/headcanon continuation ](https://dracosathenaeum.tumblr.com/post/640435611345518592/omg-try-was-so-goooood-major-angst-i-loved-it)


End file.
